Dear something-on-my-mind-which-keeps-me-sleeping-early,


I hate you. I hate you for letting myself feel tired and not finishing my tasks.
How to make you go.....? I wanna have sleepless nights like others do.



With hatred and curses,

Someone who-sleeps-more-than-6-hours-a-day.

Grrgh

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads
And breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
And stay strong
I'm doing everything
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold 

Jason Mraz featuring James Morrison

Details in the Fabric

I'm grateful for being who I am, for having the way walked, for the chance to take other steps.

Life is just... so beautiful. Right, people? :)

Sincerely,

Buat saya, sesungguhnya air mata yang jatuh saat seseorang meninggalkan kefanaan, itu bukan buat yang pergi, melainkan buat saya, yang ditinggal.

Ditinggal itu menyakitkan. Apalagi menuju kekekalan. Dimana katanya tak ada lagi luka hanya suka. 

Tapi, semua di kolong langit ada masanya, bukan? Saat ini giliran yang bernyawa yang menangis. Nanti bila jantung tak berdetak... ya, itu perjanjian waktu dengan Sang Empunya.

Munafik bila saya bilang saya tidak ingin ada yang menangis ketika saya harus angkat kaki.

Lantas apa? Entahlah.

Yang penting, saya hidupi badan dan jiwa ini. Selagi bisa.

Pergi

There comes moment when you want to share your joy but you have no idea where and how to start. It's not because you miss some details; otherwise, you're overwhelmed by details. 

You know, it goes the same way for you, outer space. All I know is that I am happy..... no err what is the name...(gosh I can't even find better diction in English to describe my weird cheerful gesture, silly smiles, and unexplained sudden red face each time people mention your name or us).

In this point, what else I should ask for. 

Oh, dear God, thank You, for being unpredictably wonderful.

Skips Beat

Saya tidak pernah menyangka bahwa tempo satu tahun sanggup membawa terlalu banyak kisah dalam milestone hidup saya. Saya juga tidak pernah mengira kalau kenyataan bisa lebih indah dari ekspektasi... hingga berkali-kali lipat. Yang saya tahu, dulu saya cuma bermimpi.

Mimpi saya tidak istimewa. Meski saya banyak mau, saya mulai bisa menyederhanakan inti dari segala cita-cita saya. Dan itu sederhana, mimpi yang sungguh bisa dikonstruksikan oleh otak manusia. Kemudian, langkah-langkah itu mulai nampak jelas, tidak lagi blur. Mimpi besar itu kian mungkin diraih. 

Saya dapatkan mimpi masa kecil saya, Departemen Akuntansi Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia. Sepanjang 18 tahun hidup, menjadi bagian dari masyarakat ini adalah pencapaian terbesar saya. Saya bangga, bahagia tentunya. Usaha saya tidak sia-sia. Kebahagiaan holistik adalah ketika menghidupi mimpi, mewujudkannya jadi realita. Secara definisi tadi, saya sudah mencapai itu.

Saya rasa tahun pertama saya di Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia sedikit banyak memberikan saya gambaran seperti apa dunia ke depannya. Lucu ya, dulu saya begitu naif. Saya dulu lihat dunia ini seperti kurva dua dimensi. Sempit sekali pandangan saya. Untungnya saya cukup adaptif. Jadi dunia perkuliahan terasa indah buat saya, dinamis dan menantang.

Dibalik keelokannya, hidup sekarang lebih keras. Saya sadari jadi mahasiswa bukan sekadar mendapatkan nilai di atas kertas. Saya sadari bahwa lulus dari sini saya bawa beban berat. Yang jelas, saya mesti berbobot. Itu tidak hanya menuntut saya untuk rela merongrong jadwal tidur. Tapi juga mau hati diobrak-abrik, otak dikontaminasi, dan jiwa dirusak. Saya tidak berlebihan. Sekarang benar kalau nasihat dulu berkata hidup itu harus tangguh.

Kalau saya rangkum, satu tahun ini rasanya hanya satu.... luar biasa. Malu sebenarnya ketika masih sering mengeluh, masih sering tidak bersyukur, masih sering tidak ikhlas mengerjakan tugas atau belajar. Malu sama diri sendiri ketika bilang ini mimpi saya. Saya dapatkan lebih. Saya dapat pengalaman tak terukur oleh materi, teman-teman yang tak terlupakan, dan masa depan yang sekarang rasanya lebih manis.

Meski beberapa saat ini saya agak limbung karena banyak cobaan, saya harus kembali, on track. Sederhananya agar nanti ketika ada yang bertanya kemana saja saya selama ini, saya bisa jawab kalau saya sedang.... menghidupi mimpi.

:)

Satu Tahun Ini

Seorang asisten dosen yang cantik, pintar, baik hati, suatu hari pernah berkata bahwa ekspektasi membuat kita berperilaku seperti apa yang kita pikir, hingga akhirnya ekspektasi itu jadi realita. Dia jelaskan dengan kurva, angka, dan fakta. Lucunya, tulisan-tulisan di papan tulis itu, yang kemungkinan keluar di lembar soal UAS, tidak semenarik itu buat saya. Kata-katanya lebih menggelitik, membuat saya sejenak menarik mundur diri untuk berpikir.

Saya tahu kalau mau dihubungkan dengan motivasi,  hubungan kata-kata kakak cantik itu adalah dengan positive thinking, self support, dll. Sejenak berdiam. Saya tahu. Yang menarik justru ketika saya sadar saya kadang tak bisa paksakan ekspektasi, tidak mampu mengukur seberapa pantas saya untuk sebuah ekspektasi atau seberapa jauh sebenarnya saya dapat bertindak agar menjadi pantas untuk sebuah ekspektasi.  Lawak ya. Tapi sungguh nyata buat saya. 

Belakangan hidup saya sangat dekat dengan harapan. Tapi saya tau kadang harapan itu kosong. Atau setidak-tidaknya begitu volatile, hingga menguap sesaat setelah terisi dan saya sedang berusaha raih. Hasilnya? Luka hati.

Ha, tapi tak apalah. Kata orang, inilah hidup.

Jakarta, 16 Mei 2011

Saya Takut Nyatanya

Semua bermula dari obrolan ringan lebih dari setengah tahun lalu. Tak ada yang terlalu istimewa kecuali berkenalan dengan beberapa orang baru. Perbincangan kami tak berbobot. Tipikal omongan kosong, basa basi, sekedar usaha mengenal lebih dekat. Dan itu semua berujung, di suatu ide menerima satu tantangan baru. Sore itu berakhir, kami pun sepakat akan suatu hal sederhana. Yang tak pernah aku tahu, itu awal dari sesuatu.

Tantangan itu harus terwujud. Harus itu menuntut usaha. Kami tak segan. Kami berusaha keras.

Tapi, gagal. Langkah kami terhenti.

Menerima kenyataan pahit tidak pernah menjadi suatu perkara sepele, Kawan. Kau pertaruhkan hati dan seluruh harga dirimu saat realita merasuki otakmu untuk mengakui segala hal nyata adanya. Di situlah kau mulai kehilangan kontrol atas dirimu sendiri. Hingga egomu berontak dan menolak. Sungguh sekarang akan kuberitahu. Itu semua sia-sia.

Waktu seakan menjadi perpanjangan tangan Tuhan untuk mengeluarkan manusia keluar dari rangkap kebodohan yang dia ciptakan sendiri. Terkadang itu tidak berarti kau lupa. Itu berarti kau mendapat jawaban atas setiap kekecewaanmu.

Aku pun demikiann. Satu per satu tanyaku usai terjawab. Setiap kejadian bak potongan cerita yang perlahan selesai dirangkai oleh Sang Esa. Hingga kini tak ada kemunafikan bersembunyi di balik tatapan mata. Tak ada lagi kecerian palsu. Usai. Ya, usai sudah.

Lalu aku tergelitik. Terkadang, manusia terlalu dangkal menyelami setiap makna yang tersirat dalam. Sering sekali manusia menjadi terlalu bodoh untuk memahami skenario cerdik. Lucunya, selalu kita lupa bahwa Tuhan itu... Penulis Agung.

 Sekarang kau tanya kabarku? Kuberi tahu, aku bersyukur, luar biasa. 

This happened to me weeks ago. It all started when a friend of mine asked the procedure to do something which I, honestly, couldn't answer. Because it's a sort of important question, I tried to do the best I could to help. My mind began to think and soon after I found a solution, a very good one indeed. I said a very good one because it bridged me to an event I'd been begging for. I was excited to know that my wish was about to be granted. I took the first step then everything went smooth and great. I could say that what happened next really made my day.

Days after, I had second thought about series of events relating to my hope about something. Well, it led me to a conclusion that I should stop. Weird, but it felt so free to let go and then I took a precious lesson that "when there's a will, there's a way" phrase does exist in reality. Sometimes, the way, which eventually reveals the best, doesn't go for a "yes". It often goes for a "no", for my own good. But at least, I won't die wondering what probably would have occurred if I had done this or that. Why? Because I already did it, I have already answered my own question, my own hope by taking a leap of faith and accepting to act.

Yes, now I believe that when someone hopes so badly, sometimes in a series of exceptional events, the way emerges and leaves her/him with a choice, to act or to stay silent. And after choosing, well, the rest is God's business.

Will and Way

Kalau saya boleh memilih, saya tentu akan lebih suka menjelajah Jakarta dengan mobil pribadi. Alasannya klise : nyaman, sejuk, damai, dan aman. Terlebih suasana dan cuaca Jakarta begitu keras. Tapi setiap perjalanan dengan kendaraan umum selalu membawa cerita berbeda. Selalu ada hal yang baru tiap hari, entah supir baru atau kenek baru, penumpangnya, suasananya. Wajarlah ya, namanya juga fasilitas umum. 

Selama kurang lebih enam tahun, saya berkutat dengan puluhan penumpang lain yang menumpang hidup pada bis yang sama, ratusan orang lain yang berdesakan di kereta yang sama, dan beberapa manusia lain yang duduk menerawang keluar sementara angkot yang kami tumpangi terus melaju menembus hujan.

Semestinya bukan menjadi suatu rekreasi ketika harus berdiri di bis yang penuh sesak atau kereta yang terlalu penuh hingga bernapas saja sulit. Tapi, entahlah, setiap perjalanan selalu memberikan inspirasi di balik cerita dan tingkah laku pemerannya. Tiap orang dengan latar belakang yang berbeda namun menggantung hidup pada satu supir atau masinis yang sama. It inspires me in such weird way. 


Kadang rekreasi itu bertambah ketika pengamen jalanan mulai memetik gitar, membersihkan pita suara dan bernyanyi. Jangan tanya kualitas mereka. Tidak sedikit yang berbakat, bahkan piawai menggesek biola atau meniup harmonika. Ada yang menyanyikan tembang lawas dengan suara dibuat-buat mirip Ebiet G. Ade. Lainnya menyanyikan berbagai genre musik masa kini. Mulai dari brit pop hingga pop melayu. Dari Nidji hingga Kangen Band.

Lucunya, saya tidak bisa semena-mena menyuruh mereka berhenti bersenandung. Saya tidak bisa seenaknya bertindak. Mau tidak mau saya harus mendengar suara fals mereka tidak peduli betapa buruknya suasana hati saya hari itu. Mau tidak mau saya harus menahan kantuk karena takut tersesat. Mau tidak mau saya harus bertoleransi dengan penumpang lain dan kegiatan mereka. Entah ibu-ibu baru pulang dari pasar dan tidur sembarangan atau mbak-mbak ABG yang curhat dengan temannya tentang pacarnya yang selingkuh.

Semua itu hanya segaris cerita tentang jalanan. Buat saya, jalanan seperti miniatur. Miniatur kerasnya hidup di ibukota Jakarta. Saya tidak memungkiri betapa saya ingin berjuang agar tidak selamanya menumpang fasilitas umum. Saya juga tidak menolak kalau orang tua saya meminjamkan kunci mobil untuk saya. Namun, saya tahu bahwa saya akan rindu dan kehilangan sesuatu. Ya, jalanan dan dinamikanya...

Setiap Ruas

I was just walking my own blog and found a fun fact, I haven't written things about love and relationship things since err... well it's been a long time. Quite frankly, I really am a single right now and currently not even thinking (and feeling) about changing my relationship status on Facebook to in a relationship or widow, or widowed, or none ya simply because I enjoy being a single. No, no need to worry. I'm not about to write things about my own love story or someone I adore out there (being a single doesn't mean that my cute-handsome-cool-great-boys alert is turned off).

It all started when a good friend of mine re-tweeted a quote of the difference between boys and girls, in a relationship. It seemed like girls become victims in many painful relationships. Besides, weeks ago I chatted with some friends about relationship issue and found that in many ways, girls are hurt because of boys' attitude. 

I'm not writing here as a feminist. After thinking about human relationships, I, somehow, had a conclusion that girls are not always become the victims because actually we should see a relationship, especially romantic one (whether between heterosexuals or homosexuals), as an equal relationship among two parties who  are willing to make things work between them (well you may read this as love).

That's just how about girls and boys react after the crash. Okay, I give you illustrations. This one is played by B and C (ha I know it doesn't distinguish anything haha).

http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/5591388/OgAAABFS7SnXCi89ap10Bi4mua8O2W4S-qepXlpCESpmG1d4xax4MkQj5LilPBEJKFhifO-tW4pilXsbfDAjvc_pHb0Am1T1UIs2sLnHt1Ii1HHsS5MvD6uQ-cw4_large.jpg?1292606960

B and C are in a romantic relationship and on a blue night (if you're Indonesian, you read that one as malam biru referring to a song made popular by a talented Indonesian male singer), they had a fight, a very big one. They didn't break up but decided to take a time alone to figure the relationship. On the next night, B went with their buddies, and C did too.

B : Yeah, we had a fight last night and... (started sobbing)..well, I just can't believe that...we just might end the relationship...(and continued blabbering, exaggerated things and stresses were on and B ended up crying).

And this what happened to C.

C : Yeah, we fought last night (started drinking or smoking or playing cards).Well, I love the relationship but....huff... I don't know what to do, it's getting complicated (and continued the story while figuring the solution but ended up drinking or smoking or playing cards, still).

Well, you may think it's most likely that B's a girl and C's a boy.  I'm not trying to make it in general that girls are fragile or such since we know independent, strong girls out there. The point is what most differentiates boys and girls in relationships is the way the communicate, the way they express feelings. It's when troubles come, the victims are both parties (in such a healthy relationship). It's another way to say, stop putting girls as victims or you, girls, stop being one. Girls, boys, both are human, with feelings and thoughts. Similarities and differences between them is what make a life and relationships beautiful.


Well, enough blabbering, I'm signing out.

http://s3prod.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/images/5293222/tumblr_lcbaq5Jke51qd1te6o1_500_large.jpg?1291409265

PS : That malam biru thing, hm, I was trying to make a joke ha sorry.

Boys and Girls

I just took these tests earlier and had so much fun on it, really. Some of these results put a big smile because of its righteousness, but some of them made me... well I laughed because they're just yaa wrong haha. You should take one here, it's fun and yeah some might lead you to think deeper about life.

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Love and Relationship

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

Bright and Cheerful

You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

The Artist

You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.

Personality Test

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BTzNX5OMN4

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again

I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

As we're on the edge of 2010, some memories appear on my mind, force me to reconsider the some plans for upcoming year. What disturbs me is to acknowledge that time flies, so fast. Ten years ago, the early part of millennium year, then years of my secondary school, moments of my high school, and now the college life. Yes it's life whose time can't be played back, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you avoid the fact that you're going to leave your adolescence real soon. Close your eyes and suddenly it's 2011. However, see you in another life chapter.

Cause now I see I'll never stop this train.

Stop (Though We Can't)

 "Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart. " 

John Nash (Russell Crowe), deleted scene.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41X%2BinZbQvL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

Film ini udah lama menjadi bahan pembicaraan dan disebut-sebut dalam buku Pengantar Ekonomi tulisan Pak Parkin khususnya di bagian Nash's equilibrium. Setelah kelas PE di suatu Senin, gue jadi semakin ingin mengalami sendiri emosi dalam setiap scenes di film ini, apalagi dengan titel film pemenang Oscar, jadi makin penasaraaan. Untunglah UAS telah berakhir dan yah walaupun telat baru nonton film ini 9 tahun setelah diputar di bioskop, gue bela-belain juga nonton sampai pagi. Ternyata ga rugi begadang buat nonton karena after taste nonton film ini : what an incredible story, what a great movie, Ron Howard is extraordinary!

Oke, mulai dari casts-nya. Russell Crowe did his great performance. Well, gue bukan a big fan of him tapi totalitas doi dalam memerankan John Forbes Nash, Jr. patut diacungi jempol. Tidak mudah memerankan orang dengan schizophrenia. Apalagi dari awal film, digambarkan kalo tindak tanduk Nash agak berbeda dengan orang kebanyakan. Ed Harris yang berperan sebagai Parcher, tokoh ilusi ciptaan Nash sendiri, juga tidak kalah oke. Emosinya cenderung stabil bahkan ketika menyetir dan menembak musuh ala Hollywood. Sedangkan tokoh yang paling mencuri perhatian gue justru Alicia Nash (well, I'm straight by the way) yang diperankan oleh Jennifer Connelly. Karakter kuat. Mimik firm. Attitude terhormat. Classy! No wonder Jennifer memenangkan Best Actress in a Supporting Role pada Oscar 2002 atas perannya di film ini.

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/img/daily/630/mind_l.jpg

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff77/xEDH/A%20Beautiful%20Mind/134772-264.jpg

Lalu, jalan cerita.Though gue ga baca bukunya, plot maju yang diusung dengan baik berhasil menggambarkan bagian-bagian penting kehidupan John Nash. Sekali lagi, I adore Alicia Nash. She should be idolized for her perseverance, patience, and love. Di sini beliau benar-benar digambarkan sebagai wanita kuat yang pantang menyerah. Di samping itu, meskipun bergenre drama, film ini sama sekali  tidak membuat gue bosan di tengah-tengah tapi justru penasaran dengan tentang scenes selanjutnya.

http://img.listal.com/image/460484/600full-a-beautiful-mind-poster.jpg

Selanjutnya,hal yang paling gue suka dari film ini adalah the scenario. Dialognya dinamis dan kalimatnya berkualitas dan berbobot bahkan saat John Nash merayu wanita di bar. Praise Akiva Goldsman, the man behind every word in this movie, for the brilliant scenario. 

http://hollywoodjesus.com/movie/beautiful_mind/17.jpg

http://www.constantcrowe.com/pix/gallery/ABM/nash18/John_Nash_1731.jpg

"Nothing's ever for sure, John. That's the only sure thing I do know." 

Charles (Paul Bettany)

Anyway, I'm not about to write how the story goes, you should watch the movie. Experience it. Feel the pathetic part, the tremendous Nobel winner has mental disease. Eventually, take a good lesson from it. Nothing has ever achieved without hard work, perseverance, and love. That one's from me. Have yours :)

http://sexualityinart.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/a-beautiful-mind-3.jpg

"I need to believe, that something extraordinary is possible." 

Alicia Nash (Jennifer Connelly)

A Beautiful Mind

Ini udah mau UAS tapi main beginian asik abis. Y u musti coba deh.



Try it on memegenerator.net ;p

Addicted to

Hello there. A mosquito was about to suck my blood when I started typing (okay, it's not important). So I've been so busy these recent weeks. Had some chances to write but yeah I traded those chances for sleeping or relaxing hehe.

Well, talking about November, I couldn't find an appropriate word to describe the previous month. It's just like...umm (sigh).  A lot of things happened during the month. Some led me to feel so contented. Some complied my to-do lists. Some hurt me that much so I couldn't keep my tears from falling. Some gave me precious experiences. Some forced me to think a lot deeper about future. Some.. well some just came and suddenly went away as easy as it came. 

I can't say that November was easy, but it was ah-ma-zing, literally. I praise God for every moment, for everything. I do ask for a nice, sweet December but inside, I know I can not resist adventurous journey. So, I'm now asking for some other wishes; strength to overcome things, a mighty heart, and lots of joy.

Guten Abend!

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December

I'm extremely busy nowadays. It's now common to get home at night and then directly hit the bed. And it got me think, what is the aim of all these? I just...hope for the best and pray that these efforts turn

good.

And I Hope Nothing Turns Blue

I'm currently waiting for my introduction-to-economics class to start.
I'm entirely alone here. Got here too soon in the morning. So, I
opened my schedule and realized that the two following weeks would be
hectic. Fyi, I'm working on some projects right now, and one of them
is yeah relatively big. Hopefully, my luvly team will nail it and get
the opportunity to take the rest of responsibility. Oooh November,
pleasee be über nice hehe. Have a good day, folks. (:

Morning Breeze

It feels so contented when you know that tomorrow is Monday, but you're still excited about waking up early and hitting the public transportation to get you to classes. I love doing this. Yes, I love seeing myself sung in economics books, feeling burned due to difficulty of business and accounting equations, or even simply, trying to understand why some irrational trades happen orderly in this society. They're right, without passion, you'll never get it, fully. 

Confusius' quote

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Yes, I Call it New Love

Since I was a kid, I've been wondering what "ever after" phrase would be truly like. I name it, on my mind,  ever after means happiness with no limit of time and space. But as I grow older, it seems to be so imaginative and...a little bit manipulative.

I'm not only talking about lovey dovey thingy which appears to be so beautiful and so, makes you wanna feel it like forever. Things are varied around us and we, basically, want them to be greatly arranged, all the time. In fact, they go down, sometimes. They can't always  stand for good (in this case, I call myself living witness of good-things-which-slowly-falls-apart).

I don't put the blame on the creator of Cinderella which forced my mind that forever and ever does exist. Well, it's not his/her fault either to create that such ending. Honestly, after thinking of stuffs, I blame myself. 

Most of the time, I only see how a story ends, without considering the process itself. To be honest, Cinderella was being tortured by her stepmother and stepsisters before meeting her prince charming. Okay, she still looks gorgeous even while mopping the terrace. However, no need to ask how the story drew the cruelty of her stepmother and stepsisters. Don't you think that she deserves the happiness ever after?

Briefly, I think all people deserve it. No matter how happy your life seems like, we're (all) suffering over some things.  And that's the point. I still believe that (though it sounds too good to be true) "forever and ever" does exist. But there are matters we should get over, we should forget, we should beat down, before experiencing the happily ever after. It does exist. And should be championed.

Forever and Ever