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The marathon in China is probably not going to happen. I'm starting to realize this more every day. This is a huge blow to my ego, since usually when I set out to do something, I really put forth all my effort into it. I've been running and training my ass off (quite literally) so I'm pretty sure that ability would not get in the way of me running a marathon. Money, however, will. Although I've sold two paintings in the last few days, my bills pretty much ate up all the profit. My mother has offered to buy two paintings, but that feels like charity. When I walk into her house and see all my art there, covering the walls from floor to ceiling, it's hard not to hang my head in shame.
No, I'm not going to throw a pity party. Today I started a new painting. Its 48" x 32", oil on wood, and its more of the experimentation of light, water and glass. Unfortunately, I received some awful critiques regarding my last painting. A few people thought that it referenced photography too much. I usually listen to critiques carefully and try to ponder each suggestion with reservation and objectivity. I don't know if it was from the exhaustion I felt after running 18 miles today, or if I was just feeling snarky, but when I got a text from one fellow artist, telling me to "watch it on the photo BS", I snapped. The rumors are true. I can be volatile.
Let's be frank. I can totally see how someone could mention that my painting was referencing a photo. It was, but although I am painting from a photo, the decisions I made regarding color and shape had more to do with my intuition ...and my desire to create a morning cityscape using both gold and lavender. Moreover, halfway through the painting, I tossed the photo. The circles of light do reference the "bokeh" technique in photography, but I intended that.
So, to the person who was unfortunate enough to criticize me on a bad day, I have one thing to say. Although I am sorry for my use of profanity, for demanding that you lose my number, and for blocking you from my facebook, I do suggest that next time you feel the need to text scathing remarks, I suggest that you at least sandwich your vitriol between oodles of praise.
